I don't know to this day exactly what he was

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very one was “fanatically devoted” to her. She would not have
believed meand would have thought I was dreaming. Besideswhat help
could she be?” Eh” I thought“after allwhat business is it of mine? I'll
take off my badge and go homewhen it begins.” That was my mental
phrase“when it begins"; I remember it.
But I had to go and listen to Karmazinov. Taking a last look round behind
the scenesI noticed that a good number of outsiderseven women
among themwere flitting aboutgoing in and out. “Behind the scenes”
was rather a narrow space completely screened from the audience by a
curtain and communicating with other rooms by means of a passage.
Here our readers were awaiting their turns. But I was struck at that
moment by the reader who was to follow Stepan Trofimovitch. Hetoo
was some sort of professor (I don't know to this day exactly what he was)
who had voluntarily left some educational institution after a disturbance
among the studentsand had arrived in the town only a few days before.
Hetoohad been recommended to Yulia Mihailovnaand she had
received him with reverence. I know now that he had only spent one
evening in her company before the reading; he had not spoken all that
eveninghad listened with an equivocal smile to t [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]