Parenting Tips Mastering the Teen Years

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Many intelligent, successful parents are rendered completely stuck and impotent when it comes to dealing with their 16 year-old.

16 going on 26 and 16 going on 6
Remember the last time you got your car stuck in the mud or sand? The harder you tried to get out, the more you spun your wheels and got stuck deeper ands deeper.

Most 16-year-olds I have known are simply 16 going on 26 and 16 going on 6, all at the same time.

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I guess one of the nicer things that can be said about being a teenager is that it is an art, just like anything else.

As one parent said to me, "I can get the governor to listen to me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I can't get my daughter to make her bed."
Many people are now familiar with the term "dysfunctional families." I'm not convinced that this is always a useful or helpful term.. Many families I work with are simply "stuck" - stuck on certain issues or developmental stages.

Parents struggle with which one they are dealing with at a given moment: the 6-year-old,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the 16-year-old or the 26-year- old. It is important to remember they are dealing with a rapidly changing pattern.

There doesn't seem to be an instruction booklet or even an
owner's manual. Most of the teen-agers I work with feel they are sort of making it up as they go along. So there are lots of questions that go unanswered.

Then there is this whole issue of self-esteem. How are teenagers (or adults for that matter) supposed to feel good about themselves when the standard held out to them is unrealistic perfection.
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Parenting an adolescent can also be considered an art, a difficult one at times.

I think families sometimes work this way, too. Good counseling is simply helping a family get "unstuck" by enhancing existing strengths and developing new ones, to get them back on the road and on their way.

What I believe happens is that kids experience the wide gulf between "TV reality" and "real reality," and feel pretty inadequate.
It can be as simple as that.
There don't seem to be many useful choices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it gets frustrating and confusing sometimes.

Who am I?
Who will I be?
Who will I model myself after?