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Wysłany: Czw 9:37, 07 Kwi 2011
Temat postu: True Religion Womens Flar The Cause of Unhappiness
,True Religion Crops Mens
Instead of focusing on how things should be, why not focus on how things could be? Begin by understanding that everything happens for a reason. Every discomfort we experience is an opportunity to grow stronger and happier.
Did you ever learn that unhappiness is not caused by what happens to us but by how we interpret what happens to us? After all, in the last 50 years, brilliant thinkers have been hammering home this important point. Over and over again, Dr. Albert Ellis (Founder of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy), Dr. Aaron Beck (Founder of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and their followers have been proselytizing this truth.
Is something disturbing, bothering, irritating, or annoying you? If so,True Religion Womens Flar, what is troubling you? Is it a boss that is too demanding, a coworker that is too careless, or your children that are too noisy? Does the lack of civility, the increase in crime, or the apathy of young people upset you? Perhaps it is poor health, little money, or no respect that is making you depressed. With so many problems swirling around us, is the prospect of happiness a mere dream, an unattainable goal?
2. Become aware of your attempts to blame others for your discontent. Carry a small notebook with you. During the day, jot down examples of how you have falsely blamed circumstances and others for getting upset. Try to record at least three examples each day.
For example, you may have thought, “That man should have been considerate. It upsets me when people are inconsiderate.” However, if you choose to become upset whenever the world doesn’t behave as you think it should, you are condemning yourself to unending misery as every day,True Religion Boootcut Online, you will meet situations that are contrary to the way you think they should be.
What is Marcus Aurelius telling us? Simply this: the true cause of our unhappiness is the decision we have made to blame others for it. This tactic of avoiding responsibility is self-defeating because it leads to a dead end; that is, we remain stuck, with no solution in sight. It is only after accepting responsibility that we can begin to analyze the causes of our behavior and look for ways to improve it.
The first step is to rephrase the sentence to make it truthful. Instead of thinking, “He made me angry,” change it to, “I made myself angry (or I chose to become angry).” Now that you have shifted the responsibility to yourself, you can continue by analyzing your thoughts to uncover the cause of your anger.
“When I boarded the crowded bus on my way to work, I looked for an empty seat. I came to a spot where one man took two seats. He sat on one seat and placed his bag on another. Even though I was standing right by him, he did not remove his bag from the seat. He made me very angry.”
It wasn’t until recently that so much attention has been focused on the fact that unhappiness is caused by our attitude, not outside events. Yet, this teaching is hardly new, for Epictetus (55 ~ 135) taught that “Men are disturbed not by things but by the views which they take of them.” Similarly, Marcus Aurelius (121 ~ 180) taught, “If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.”
1. Grapple with Epictetus’ and Marcus Aurelius’ teachings until you clearly understand them. Say to yourself, “People and events do not make me upset. Rather, I choose to make myself upset.”
3. Set aside some time during the day to review your notes and correct your faulty thinking by assigning responsibility to yourself, uncovering the reasons you feel as you do, and reviewing your choices.
Example 1
If we already know that it is not the world but our opinions of it that cause our constant complaints, why do we continue to rob ourselves of happiness? One reason is that we fail to apply what we learn. Another reason for remaining mired in misery is force of habit. The good news is that we can break bad habits and return to the path of happiness.
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