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a nurse I ask my patients, “On a scale of one-to-ten, 1 being pain free and 10 being the worst pain you have ever experienced, how would you rate your pain right now?” Then depending on their answer, they may be medicated accordingly and evaluated for improvement. Each person’s interpretation of pain is personal. We, as nurses, have to refrain from trying to compare the patients presumed pain, from our own experience with pain.
When I was ten years old and almost died from Ovarian Cancer I can remember being in a lot of pain. I cried a lot and prayed often for the pain to go away. Treatment for the cancer was successful and I have now lived 39 years longer than they had predicted. More important than the idea of living a long life, for me at the time, was for the pain to go away. During my summer between 5th and 6th grade, I prayed more than once for God to take me home, for then the pain would be over.
As time passed New Jordans 13, the pain did subside and within a few years of continual healing and recovery, the pain became a distant memory. During my life I have now had several additional surgeries. After each one, when the nurse would ask me how my pain was, I have only to remember my prayers as a child to “end the Pain” and my response by number would always surprise them considering what I had just been through.
Pain of the heart from losing a loved one can also seem like an event you will never recover from. When my father passed away, my heart ached. The thought of never having him there to talk about events of life seemed overwhelming.
When my marriage of 14 years ended rather suddenly Nike Air Rift, though not without warnings I tended to ignore New Air Max 2011, my heart broke. I wanted desperately to be OK with the situation and try to remain friends just to keep him in my life. But I was only kidding myself. I was still in love and he was not, at least not with me anymore. We would talk on the phone, or meet for lunch but without consideration on his part, he would bring up the subject of how he had moved on and was now meeting other women that interested him.
I would try my best to end the conversation, or get through the meal without loosing it on him. I didn’t want him to know how bad his statements were hurting me. And to make thing even worse I would usually spend the rest of my day crying my heart out.
So I prayed again for the pain to go away. The only answer to this prayer was for him to go away. Eventually he would probably remarry and I did not want to compare myself to the new love in his life. I knew I would continue to hurt as long as I tried to continue any kind of relationship with him. He was obviously moving on and it became apparent that I needed to also.
So I made the decision to end all contact. What I found was that I was doing most of the calling and the lunch dates. I had to stop trying to win him back and set him free. What I experience was the worst pain and depression I could ever imagine. It was coming to the reality that it was truly over. It just wasn’t meant to be.
As time went by the crying slowed, and thoughts of the life we once had were less frequent. I learned, with much intention, how to forgive him and how to forgive myself for loving another that didn’t feel the same way. I had to forgive him for leaving. I had to place trust in God that he had a better plan for my life that I was yet aware of. I had to forgive myself for having evil thoughts about him. I had to forgive myself for hoping the new woman in his life would make him suffer. I forgave myself for wishing great misfortune on his life. I forgave myself for all the jealousy I felt and for having thoughts of revenge. True forgiveness is not an easy achievement.
Once it has been reached, I could live again. I allowed myself to concentrate on all the other aspects of life that I loved. I began to realize the only true everlasting love in this lifetime is the love you receive from God and yourself. Even the love of family is not a gua