Nobody should have this disease. I never

john9221 · Wysłany: Pią 8:37, 11 Mar 2011

Nobody should have this disease. I never, in a bazillion years, would have ever thought Iwould be effected by it when Iconsider the type of family Igrew up in. I never even put a thought toward the idea that I could ever contract the disease.I just became an adult, and most wouldn't even consider me to really be one yet because I'm still, as my older sibling say, a pup. I don't drink or do drugs. I've never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and just to clear it up, I would be looking for a girlfriend. I'm a total victim here and right now, today, it's really bothering me, truly making me angry again.It was someone whom I trusted, a youth minister yilai:
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that gave it to me. Nothing about the encounter was concentual. When Ifirst found out, not long after Ireturned home from a personal mission trip, Iwas so angry. This man took so much from me that can never be replaced. He took my purity. And then, when I got sick and found out Iwas positive [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I realized he took my life. It would no longer be the same. Yes, I can still find the right woman to fall in love with and marry and Ican still share my first real sexual experience with her [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but we will never be able to experience intimacy without protection. We will never be able to have children together. She will have to invest into a man and a relationship that has limits, and that's not fair for her.My parents may have to bury me. Ican't even handle thinking about that idea. I'm just really upset today about the whole thing, all spawning from a cold that Ifeel like I'm coming down with right now. Colds scare me. They scare my family. I'm not afraid to die because I'm secure enough in my faith and my service to God that I will go to Heaven. I'm just afraid to do it so soon. I know I shouldn't think so negatively. I've only been positive a few years and men and women have lived many years with HIV. But I don't think I'm the only person that gets scared. So that's me right now. Scared and angry [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and going to smoke another cigarette.